My Grandfather's Wake

My grandfather's memorial photo and an orange juice. 

We just arrived last night, but there is so much to do to get ready for my grandfather's wake tonight.  I am excited to see the rest of my family members, but I wish it weren't at the funeral home. 

Abiko Baptist Church

I brought my running clothes and sneakers with me, so I went for a 2 mile jog.  In the summer time, Tokyo gets so hot, but the mornings are very nice.  There isn't much traffic, so it is a great time to really look around and listen to the quiet, serene aspect of the city.  

On my jog back, I noticed a Baptist Church across from the train station.  It doesn't look new; It must have been there for some time, and I never noticed it...all the dozens of times we walked around.  I feel comfort as it reminds me of my home. I would like to go inside the church some day.

My uncle serving Japanese buttered toast

For breakfast, my family eats toast with butter. The bread is fantastic. My uncle, a retired president of an insurance company, is in charge of buttering the bread since he is the best at it. Service with a smile!  The butter comes from Hokkaido, and it is so creamy and delicious.  I wish I could bring a bar back home, but that's not possible.  Perhaps, I can get it on Amazon.

I also ate a slice of Japanese honeydew melon which tastes like honey.  

After breakfast, my cousin drove us to the store to pick up Buddhist prayer beads called juzu.  I am not Buddhist, so I am not sure of the significance of these, but I was glad to buy them as a memory of my grandfather.  We bought ours at the dollar store, but you can get some worth hundreds or thousands of dollars if you are a devout Buddhist.

trip to the store

Here's a goofy one of me trying to take a photo inside the car to our trip to the store. I always feel silly doing this, but later on, I enjoy these candid moments.

My cousin Reina is a collector, so she hangs charms and dolls in her car, and it kept getting bumping onto my head and distracting my photo shoot.  It's a little red bear that represents her home prefecture of Chiba. 

When we got home, we quickly got ready for the wake tonight.  The service is in Tokyo which is 1-2 hours away depending on traffic.  Everyone wears pitch black.  I remembered to bring a black suit, but not my pearls which was ok.  My mother was afraid that I would not bring the right clothes, so she brought me a black laced top which was so much better than what I brought, so "thank you, Mom!"  She has great taste in clothes.

My mom was not feeling good, so she decided she wanted to take the train in. My aunt went with her. My uncle drove us in his Prius and we got so delayed due to traffic, that I wished we had all taken the train in.  When we arrived at the funeral home, the reserved spot for our car was taken, so we were even more late than we should have been.  When we arrived, I gave quick hugs to my cousins, and we quickly viewed my grandfather in his coffin.  He's not in a casket, because he will be cremated in the box he's in. But, the box is beautiful. It looks like it is made of wood, perfectly fitted. The box is covered in a lacy white fabric and has a viewing window for his face.

Our family priest chanting the sutra

In Japan, a funeral (sōgi or sōshiki) includes a wake the night before, a funeral service, cremation, a burial of the urn in a family grave, and a periodic memorial service.

The guests are seated, with immediate relatives seated closest to the front. A Buddhist priest arrives like a bride at a western wedding, and we stand to greet him while he walks down the aisle.  I am so thankful that our family monk (who is now Chief Priest) could be scheduled for my grandfather's service.  I have known him since I was a child, so it's nice to have a warm feeling during this sad time.  He chants a section from a sutra. 

The funeral attendant came down the aisle in the middle of it, and brought over a table with incense in it.  We were then instructed to come up one-by-one, great the other side of the room by bowing, then  offer incense three times to the incense urn in front of the deceased. The wake ended once the priest had completed the sutra. 

Afterward, we thanked the priest and ate dinner together at the funeral home with the family.

My aunt, our Priest, and my mom after the wake

Sushi from the funeral home in Tokyo

A bittersweet reunion. My cousins and me. Tokyo July 2013