My Grandfather's Wake

My grandfather's memorial photo and an orange juice. 

We just arrived last night, but there is so much to do to get ready for my grandfather's wake tonight.  I am excited to see the rest of my family members, but I wish it weren't at the funeral home. 

Abiko Baptist Church

I brought my running clothes and sneakers with me, so I went for a 2 mile jog.  In the summer time, Tokyo gets so hot, but the mornings are very nice.  There isn't much traffic, so it is a great time to really look around and listen to the quiet, serene aspect of the city.  

On my jog back, I noticed a Baptist Church across from the train station.  It doesn't look new; It must have been there for some time, and I never noticed it...all the dozens of times we walked around.  I feel comfort as it reminds me of my home. I would like to go inside the church some day.

My uncle serving Japanese buttered toast

For breakfast, my family eats toast with butter. The bread is fantastic. My uncle, a retired president of an insurance company, is in charge of buttering the bread since he is the best at it. Service with a smile!  The butter comes from Hokkaido, and it is so creamy and delicious.  I wish I could bring a bar back home, but that's not possible.  Perhaps, I can get it on Amazon.

I also ate a slice of Japanese honeydew melon which tastes like honey.  

After breakfast, my cousin drove us to the store to pick up Buddhist prayer beads called juzu.  I am not Buddhist, so I am not sure of the significance of these, but I was glad to buy them as a memory of my grandfather.  We bought ours at the dollar store, but you can get some worth hundreds or thousands of dollars if you are a devout Buddhist.

trip to the store

Here's a goofy one of me trying to take a photo inside the car to our trip to the store. I always feel silly doing this, but later on, I enjoy these candid moments.

My cousin Reina is a collector, so she hangs charms and dolls in her car, and it kept getting bumping onto my head and distracting my photo shoot.  It's a little red bear that represents her home prefecture of Chiba. 

When we got home, we quickly got ready for the wake tonight.  The service is in Tokyo which is 1-2 hours away depending on traffic.  Everyone wears pitch black.  I remembered to bring a black suit, but not my pearls which was ok.  My mother was afraid that I would not bring the right clothes, so she brought me a black laced top which was so much better than what I brought, so "thank you, Mom!"  She has great taste in clothes.

My mom was not feeling good, so she decided she wanted to take the train in. My aunt went with her. My uncle drove us in his Prius and we got so delayed due to traffic, that I wished we had all taken the train in.  When we arrived at the funeral home, the reserved spot for our car was taken, so we were even more late than we should have been.  When we arrived, I gave quick hugs to my cousins, and we quickly viewed my grandfather in his coffin.  He's not in a casket, because he will be cremated in the box he's in. But, the box is beautiful. It looks like it is made of wood, perfectly fitted. The box is covered in a lacy white fabric and has a viewing window for his face.

Our family priest chanting the sutra

In Japan, a funeral (sōgi or sōshiki) includes a wake the night before, a funeral service, cremation, a burial of the urn in a family grave, and a periodic memorial service.

The guests are seated, with immediate relatives seated closest to the front. A Buddhist priest arrives like a bride at a western wedding, and we stand to greet him while he walks down the aisle.  I am so thankful that our family monk (who is now Chief Priest) could be scheduled for my grandfather's service.  I have known him since I was a child, so it's nice to have a warm feeling during this sad time.  He chants a section from a sutra. 

The funeral attendant came down the aisle in the middle of it, and brought over a table with incense in it.  We were then instructed to come up one-by-one, great the other side of the room by bowing, then  offer incense three times to the incense urn in front of the deceased. The wake ended once the priest had completed the sutra. 

Afterward, we thanked the priest and ate dinner together at the funeral home with the family.

My aunt, our Priest, and my mom after the wake

Sushi from the funeral home in Tokyo

A bittersweet reunion. My cousins and me. Tokyo July 2013

Arrived in Japan!

Narita (NRT) Airport, Japan | July 2013

My flight arrived at Narita (NRT) airport around 4pm on Friday, July 12.   Since I had to wait until my mother's flight arrived at 7pm, I took my time getting through Japanese Immigration.  My cousin, Reina, came to pick us both up. I didn't think she would be there when I exited the gate, but she was! What a wonderful reunion. I have not seen her (or anyone in Japan) for three years.

Reina is the most outgoing member of our family. She is the first grandchild. She is warm and cares for all the rest of us like a young mother.

My mother adores her since they share a lot of similar interests (motorcycles, cooking, shopping).  My name is a combination of hers and my mother's (Eri).

She has a younger sister named Saori who couldn't make it to the airport, because she has a small child at home.  I'll see her at the funeral tomorrow.

We decided to get some iced coffee and pancakes at a restaurant inside Terminal 1.

Cupcakes from JFK Airport | July 2013

We caught up on major points in our lives.  My three children, her new job, my new job.

Guess what? We both work with Centrifuges. I know that's really strange. She works in a laboratory analyzing blood from donors.  I work as a purchasing agent for a medical instrument company. Enshinki (遠心機).  

 A strange thing happened to me between the time I deplaned, met my cousin, and ate pancakes.  I lost my box of specialty cupcakes that I bought inside JFK airport. They were so big and beautiful AND EXPENSIVE. I'll never know what they tasted like.

The Japanese don't have cream cheese frosting, so I picked up a carrot cake and red velvet cake to eat after dinner.  Is it possible that someone took them? They were hanging on my carry-on's hook.  So strange. I paced around the entire airport twice retracing my steps, but I never found them.

Starbucks Chiba, Japan | July 2013

Finally! It was time to wait for my mother's airplane to arrive. She came out in a wheelchair and started crying as soon as she saw us.  Her sadness for her father's death overwhelmed us all.  But, soon, she did take comfort in having us with her.

We decided to stop at Starbucks on the way to my aunt's house where we would eat dinner and sleep that night.  When we arrived at the house (about 45 minutes from the airport), my aunt was standing curbside waiting for us.  My mother laughed; their mother / my grandmother used to stand outside just like that whenever we would come home.  She was so anxious to see us.

Chiba, Japan | July 2013

My aunt and uncle are very quiet, reserved people. They love huskies.
If you look around the house, there are photos of them everywhere.

I got to meet their newest one Shu2 this trip. I instantly made everyone jealous by becoming the favorite visitor.  Their former husky, Shu, unfortunately was struck dead by a motorcycle during a normal walk. My uncle is now crippled and cannot play his beloved golf games anymore, but thankfully, he survived the accident.

Finally, the moment I was waiting for. Food!  There is nothing better for me than to eat a home-cooked Japanese dinner especially one made by my family.  All the women are excellent cooks.  Japanese food is not the most flavorful. Some may think it's bland, but I think it's so wonderful. So many choices. So healthy.  We had broiled mackerel and cucumber salad which my entire family knows is MY favorite dish. Sides included miso soup with wakame seaweed, real crab, boiled kabocha pumpkin and fresh baby ginger sticks. Heaven. Doing the dishes is not fun though! Too many.

Broiled Mackeral "sanma", wakame soup, Japanese kabocha & crab.

My flight to Tokyo

 JFK to NRT | July 2013

As soon as I got the phone call that my grandfather died, I prepared for my trip to Tokyo.  My husband was very supportive of my desire to attend his funeral even though it was halfway around the world.  I called my mom, who was arranging her own flight from LA, and asked her if I could come. I know it's weird, but even though I am almost 35, I still don't impose on my mother without permission.

I went to work and told my manager that I would probably leave the next day and use my vacation if needed.  He understood, too.  It's actually a very odd coincidence that we, as a family, had decided not to go to London this week to visit my sister-in-law.  The flights were booked solid.  Had I been on my way to London, I would not have received the message from my mother about her father's sudden death.

We prepared to leave from Charlottesville (CHO) Airport.  I was supposed to take the flight to Atlanta (ATL) and fly direct to Narita (NRT) International Airport in Japan. But when I arrived in the morning, there was no airplane to take me there. The weather was too bad the night before for the pilots to fly to Charlottesville. Fortunately, I was re-routed to LaGuardia (LGA) Airport in NYC. From there, I took a shuttle bus to JFK International Airport. Then, I took a direct flight to Japan.

It was a very long day, but you want to know what? I got upgraded to First-Class - Upper Deck, baby!

Delta's First Class / Upper Deck JFK to NRT | July 2013

I need not tell you how wonderful the upper deck is. The pod is almost completely private. It's like an office cubicle with everything you need within a hand's reach.  I was greeted with an offer to take my coat and a glass of champagne.  Then, I reclined and enjoyed the ride.  I watched the movie "Silver Lining" which is a comedy starring Bradley Cooper and the girl from The Hunger Games. I don't want to ruin the plot.  I will tell you that 1) I laughed out loud, and 2) it is rated R for maturity.

And what would be a good blog post (or part of my life) without a photograph of what I ate?  For lunch, the flight served Japanese Soba noodles with fresh fruit.  What a nice preview of my upcoming trip to see my family in Japan. Even though, it's a sad reason, it will still be wonderful to see those whom I love so much.