My Grandfather's Wake

My grandfather's memorial photo and an orange juice. 

We just arrived last night, but there is so much to do to get ready for my grandfather's wake tonight.  I am excited to see the rest of my family members, but I wish it weren't at the funeral home. 

Abiko Baptist Church

I brought my running clothes and sneakers with me, so I went for a 2 mile jog.  In the summer time, Tokyo gets so hot, but the mornings are very nice.  There isn't much traffic, so it is a great time to really look around and listen to the quiet, serene aspect of the city.  

On my jog back, I noticed a Baptist Church across from the train station.  It doesn't look new; It must have been there for some time, and I never noticed it...all the dozens of times we walked around.  I feel comfort as it reminds me of my home. I would like to go inside the church some day.

My uncle serving Japanese buttered toast

For breakfast, my family eats toast with butter. The bread is fantastic. My uncle, a retired president of an insurance company, is in charge of buttering the bread since he is the best at it. Service with a smile!  The butter comes from Hokkaido, and it is so creamy and delicious.  I wish I could bring a bar back home, but that's not possible.  Perhaps, I can get it on Amazon.

I also ate a slice of Japanese honeydew melon which tastes like honey.  

After breakfast, my cousin drove us to the store to pick up Buddhist prayer beads called juzu.  I am not Buddhist, so I am not sure of the significance of these, but I was glad to buy them as a memory of my grandfather.  We bought ours at the dollar store, but you can get some worth hundreds or thousands of dollars if you are a devout Buddhist.

trip to the store

Here's a goofy one of me trying to take a photo inside the car to our trip to the store. I always feel silly doing this, but later on, I enjoy these candid moments.

My cousin Reina is a collector, so she hangs charms and dolls in her car, and it kept getting bumping onto my head and distracting my photo shoot.  It's a little red bear that represents her home prefecture of Chiba. 

When we got home, we quickly got ready for the wake tonight.  The service is in Tokyo which is 1-2 hours away depending on traffic.  Everyone wears pitch black.  I remembered to bring a black suit, but not my pearls which was ok.  My mother was afraid that I would not bring the right clothes, so she brought me a black laced top which was so much better than what I brought, so "thank you, Mom!"  She has great taste in clothes.

My mom was not feeling good, so she decided she wanted to take the train in. My aunt went with her. My uncle drove us in his Prius and we got so delayed due to traffic, that I wished we had all taken the train in.  When we arrived at the funeral home, the reserved spot for our car was taken, so we were even more late than we should have been.  When we arrived, I gave quick hugs to my cousins, and we quickly viewed my grandfather in his coffin.  He's not in a casket, because he will be cremated in the box he's in. But, the box is beautiful. It looks like it is made of wood, perfectly fitted. The box is covered in a lacy white fabric and has a viewing window for his face.

Our family priest chanting the sutra

In Japan, a funeral (sōgi or sōshiki) includes a wake the night before, a funeral service, cremation, a burial of the urn in a family grave, and a periodic memorial service.

The guests are seated, with immediate relatives seated closest to the front. A Buddhist priest arrives like a bride at a western wedding, and we stand to greet him while he walks down the aisle.  I am so thankful that our family monk (who is now Chief Priest) could be scheduled for my grandfather's service.  I have known him since I was a child, so it's nice to have a warm feeling during this sad time.  He chants a section from a sutra. 

The funeral attendant came down the aisle in the middle of it, and brought over a table with incense in it.  We were then instructed to come up one-by-one, great the other side of the room by bowing, then  offer incense three times to the incense urn in front of the deceased. The wake ended once the priest had completed the sutra. 

Afterward, we thanked the priest and ate dinner together at the funeral home with the family.

My aunt, our Priest, and my mom after the wake

Sushi from the funeral home in Tokyo

A bittersweet reunion. My cousins and me. Tokyo July 2013

Arrived in Japan!

Narita (NRT) Airport, Japan | July 2013

My flight arrived at Narita (NRT) airport around 4pm on Friday, July 12.   Since I had to wait until my mother's flight arrived at 7pm, I took my time getting through Japanese Immigration.  My cousin, Reina, came to pick us both up. I didn't think she would be there when I exited the gate, but she was! What a wonderful reunion. I have not seen her (or anyone in Japan) for three years.

Reina is the most outgoing member of our family. She is the first grandchild. She is warm and cares for all the rest of us like a young mother.

My mother adores her since they share a lot of similar interests (motorcycles, cooking, shopping).  My name is a combination of hers and my mother's (Eri).

She has a younger sister named Saori who couldn't make it to the airport, because she has a small child at home.  I'll see her at the funeral tomorrow.

We decided to get some iced coffee and pancakes at a restaurant inside Terminal 1.

Cupcakes from JFK Airport | July 2013

We caught up on major points in our lives.  My three children, her new job, my new job.

Guess what? We both work with Centrifuges. I know that's really strange. She works in a laboratory analyzing blood from donors.  I work as a purchasing agent for a medical instrument company. Enshinki (遠心機).  

 A strange thing happened to me between the time I deplaned, met my cousin, and ate pancakes.  I lost my box of specialty cupcakes that I bought inside JFK airport. They were so big and beautiful AND EXPENSIVE. I'll never know what they tasted like.

The Japanese don't have cream cheese frosting, so I picked up a carrot cake and red velvet cake to eat after dinner.  Is it possible that someone took them? They were hanging on my carry-on's hook.  So strange. I paced around the entire airport twice retracing my steps, but I never found them.

Starbucks Chiba, Japan | July 2013

Finally! It was time to wait for my mother's airplane to arrive. She came out in a wheelchair and started crying as soon as she saw us.  Her sadness for her father's death overwhelmed us all.  But, soon, she did take comfort in having us with her.

We decided to stop at Starbucks on the way to my aunt's house where we would eat dinner and sleep that night.  When we arrived at the house (about 45 minutes from the airport), my aunt was standing curbside waiting for us.  My mother laughed; their mother / my grandmother used to stand outside just like that whenever we would come home.  She was so anxious to see us.

Chiba, Japan | July 2013

My aunt and uncle are very quiet, reserved people. They love huskies.
If you look around the house, there are photos of them everywhere.

I got to meet their newest one Shu2 this trip. I instantly made everyone jealous by becoming the favorite visitor.  Their former husky, Shu, unfortunately was struck dead by a motorcycle during a normal walk. My uncle is now crippled and cannot play his beloved golf games anymore, but thankfully, he survived the accident.

Finally, the moment I was waiting for. Food!  There is nothing better for me than to eat a home-cooked Japanese dinner especially one made by my family.  All the women are excellent cooks.  Japanese food is not the most flavorful. Some may think it's bland, but I think it's so wonderful. So many choices. So healthy.  We had broiled mackerel and cucumber salad which my entire family knows is MY favorite dish. Sides included miso soup with wakame seaweed, real crab, boiled kabocha pumpkin and fresh baby ginger sticks. Heaven. Doing the dishes is not fun though! Too many.

Broiled Mackeral "sanma", wakame soup, Japanese kabocha & crab.

My Japanese Grandparents' Wedding Photo

Tokyo, Japan | 1946

I want to share one more cool story about my grandfather before I leave for Tokyo in a few hours.

My grandparents were married in the 1940s.

My grandmother lost her parents at a very young age, and she was the only child. She was raised by her maternal grandfather.

My grandfather had 10 siblings.

When they were married, my grandfather took her last name 'Sasaki' so the family line could continue.

They had three children, six grandchildren, and eight great grandchildren.

The Sasaki family line is continuing through my cousin's son who is currently about 4 years old.

Good-bye, Grandpa

Tokyo, Japan | July 2010

Tokyo, Japan | July 1992

With sadness, I have to share that grandfather in Tokyo has passed away.

Many of you know that I lost my father when I was 10, and I spent my summers at my grandparents' home in Tokyo. My grandfather was the father figure during my adolescent life. He was a mild, humorous man who loved his family (and jokingly cheat us at card games - hey I just realized why I find it charming when my husband pulls that).

Anyway, he was amazing.

Johnson AFB, Japan | September 1958

After WWII ended, he worked at Johnson Air Base as a lifeguard for the Americans stationed there. See news article photo attached - he's the one with his arms crossed and he is referred to as "Henry" Sasaki because his real name was too difficult to say. His brother Yuji also worked on base as a cook.

My grandfather and his brother loved the Americans. I have heard many stories, but my favorite is the one where the Japanese would trade their prepared lunches (salmon rice balls) for American food, because the Americans thought the home-cooked Japanese meals were so much better. My grandfather was thrilled to exchange his lunch for meat and potatoes!

Anyway, I miss him already, but I am doing fine. I just wanted to share him with you, my friends.

Good-bye Aunt Lisa

My mom called me today to tell me that her Aunt Lisa passed away.

I think I had met her one time when I went to Hawaii in 1996.  I'll have to dig out a photo and ask my mom.

This is a photo of her on her wedding day in 1953:

Tokyo, January 1953

The little girl in the front of Aunt Lisa is my auntie Reiko (my mom's older sister).  The woman peeking from behind is my grandmother Misa.  The little boy is my uncle Koichi (my mom's older brother).  Mom is not born yet.  The three ladies in kimonos are Aunt Lisa's Aunts.  Her mother passed away at a young age.

My mother recently sent this photo to my aunt in Japan.  She remembers this day clearly.  We cannot tell this, because the photo is in black and white, but her dress is actually mint green.  It was sewn by my grandmother.

She remembers when she left for America with her new husband Uncle Jody. She was wearing a beautiful winter white coat.  Her fingernails were painted red, and she wore two diamond rings.  Mom says this photo does not display her real beauty.  Back in those days, no one dressed as flashy as her.  She drove a hardtop bright blue Cadillac like the one my father had.

The store behind them was called the Sasaki Shop, named after our family name.  It sold jackets and other goods to the American military stationed in the area.

Rest in Peace, Aunt Lisa.  You are unforgettable!

-Ereina

Movie "The Holiday"

My mom has been bugging me to watch this movie called "The Holiday."  She watched it before Christmas and she absolutely loves it.

She sent me the FIVE text messages from Arizona (2,237 miles away):

Fri., Dec. 23 @ 1:30pm: That movie "The Holiday"  is gonna be on next wed (28th) on LIFE station. so remember to watch !

Fri., Dec. 23 @ 1:32pm: I'll remind you again that day .


Wed., Dec. 28 @ 9:28am: "The Holiday" tonight.  Just incase I will remind you later today again !

Wed., Dec. 28 @ 10:42am: Check TV Guide on line for time (LIFE)


Wed., Dec. 28 @ 5:02pm: Last reminder...Movie tonight!



My mom is too funny!  This movie had better be the best movie I have ever seen.

The bad news is that I am busy tonight.  My nephew is turning 5, so I have to attend his birthday party.

I did learn one cool thing from the Lifetime Channel during this exercise.  I found the times that they will air this movie, AND you can set an email reminder so your mom doesn't have to keep up with your calendar :)